With the school year swiftly approaching (or upon us in some cases!), we may be finding it hard to let go of the carefree days of summer in order to take hold of the somewhat more structured school days (and certainly earlier wake-up calls!).
Never fear! To ease you gently back into whatever your routine may be, I present to you the top funniest things that educational enrichment teachers have heard from their students. Hopefully they serve as a reminder to us that even in the bleakest parts of the school year, there is always something to laugh about and make our seemingly dull schedules a little brighter.
Funny Things Enrichment Teachers Have Heard
Some submissions have been lightly edited for clarity.
On Creativity:
THE FOLLOWING STUDENT NEEDED TO USE 5 VOCABULARY WORDS, THREE COMMAS, AND FIVE SENTENCES TO TELL A STORY.
Student’s Story – Unedited:
“Once upon a time there was a trustworthy boy. He devoted his life to charity. Sadly, there was a tragedy. A bank had exploded, so he could not ask prosperous people for money, because they don’t HAVE ANY!!!! Now seldom people would donate a little money. Then, somebody injected chicken venom in the boy, and he became a happy chicken.”
-Submitted by Pam C.
THE FOLLOWING STUDENT HAD TO ANSWER A MATH PROBLEM.
Problem: If Gina buys as many cars as she can afford, how many cars will she have? Write an expression.
Student’s Answer: All of them!
-Submitted by Pam C.
On Smarts:
THE FOLLOWING TOOK PLACE BETWEEN A TEACHER AND HER ENGLISHSTUDENT.
[The student] asked what class it was. When I said, “English”, he said, “Oh, I already speak English. I don’t need this class.” He then gathered his materials to go home. After some convincing, he stayed and did fine in class.
-Submitted by Elaine C.
THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION TOOK PLACE BETWEEN A TEACHER AND HISKINDERGARTEN STUDENT.
Teacher: Hey you’re doing really well on this!
Student: Yeah, I’m kind of a genius…
Teacher: Oh really…?
Student: Yeah, I didn’t tell you. I forget sometimes.
-Submitted by Wes T.
A 6TH GRADE STUDENT WROTE THE FOLLOWING NOTE TO HIS PARENTS ON HIS ENGLISH HOMEWORK BEFORE LEAVING FOR THE NIGHT.
“Your son is so smart. In fact, he is as smart as Albert Einstein!”
-Submitted by Emily K.
THE FOLLOWING CONVERSATION TOOK PLACE BETWEEN A TEACHER AND A PRIOR STUDENT.
Student: Hey… do you know my younger brother?
Teacher: No I don’t, why do you ask?
Student: Well… he’s coming in for an assessment tomorrow.
Teacher: Cool! I’ll be working assessments tomorrow! Is he smart like you?
Student: No.
-Submitted by Victoria K.
On Getting Just a Little Confused:
THE FOLLOWING TOOK PLACE AFTER THE CLASS READ A STORY TOGETHER.
I asked the class about the setting of the story that we just read out loud together. One of my students called out an answer, and he said “OH, A CABBAGE!” The whole class, including himself, burst into a fit of giggles. He realized that what he really wanted to say was “A cottage,” which was in fact the correct answer.
-Submitted by Sarah S.
THE FOLLOWING TOOK PLACE BETWEEN A TEACHER AND HER KINDERGARTENSTUDENT.
A girl in my Kindergarten class insisted that I “stop acting like a penguin.” I still have no idea what she meant by that, but she said it every week.
-Submitted by Victoria K.
THE FOLLOWING TOOK PLACE BETWEEN A TEACHER AND HER 7-8TH GRADE ENGLISH CLASS.
The class already had the giggles. This is what happened when they got to the last comprehension question.
Student A: “What does Athena do to mitigate Arachne’s sadness?”
Student B: I thought it said, “migrate.”
Teacher: We’re gonna move your sadness over here.
Student C: To Jersey!
-Submitted by Anonymous
THE FOLLOWING TOOK PLACE IN A 2ND GRADE ENGLISH STUDENT AND HIS TEACHER.
The class read a passage about seeing snakes at the zoo, and it mentioned seeing copperhead snakes from North America. Afterwards, after discussing snakes for a little while one student said, “I don’t want to move to North America.” I had some bad news to break to that student.
-Submitted by Johnny T.
On Being Blunt (And Sometimes Complimentary):
THE FOLLOWING TOOK PLACE BETWEEN A TEACHER AND HER ALGEBRA ISTUDENT.
Student: Why? Are you Irish?
Teacher: I’m of Irish descent. And German, French, Swiss, Dutch, Scottish, and English.
Student: How is that possible?
Teacher: …Genetics?
-Submitted by Anonymous
THE FOLLOWING TOOK PLACE BETWEEN A TEACHER AND HER PRE-ALGEBRA ISTUDENT.
I was checking a PA-I student’s math drills, and she suddenly looks up at me and says, “You have really pretty eyes.”
-Submitted by Anonymous
THE FOLLOWING WAS SAID TO A TEACHER BY HER 6TH GRADE ENGLISHSTUDENT.
Student: Your ponytail is too loose. It’s annoying me.
-Submitted by Emily K.
THE FOLLOWING NOTE WAS HANDED TO A TEACHER AS A 4TH GRADESTUDENT ENTERED HER CLASSROOM.
“I got hit in the face with a real baseball and that’s why I can’t talk.” The student proceeded to mime his way through the rest of class.
-Submitted by Emily K.
THE FOLLOWING TOOK PLACE BETWEEN A TEACHER AND HER GEOMETRYSTUDENT.
“Can I crash your wedding?”
-Submitted by Elaine T.
What do you think? Is laughter the best medicine for the oncoming school year? What are some of the funniest things you’ve heard from your students? Let us hear from you in the comments!
Author: Emily Karth, Writer and Teacher at MathWizard, Inc.
